Looking For Ways To Help The Young And Foolish Become Young And Wise

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Love was never meant to be accidental

 

 canstockphoto21962365

I remember rushing headlong into a romantic love relationship when I was young, and recall the giddy feelings it caused as we compared ourselves to the wonderful, live happily ever after endings of our favorite fairy tales.

Blinded by our desires, we paid no attention to our differences; differences that would later come back and threaten our respect for each other, forcing us further apart until we had no choice but to go our separate ways.

Remembering now all the relationships I started that ended so badly, each one of us in our own way suffering the painful ordeal of searching our souls for the answers as to why we were rejected, I can see that we had skipped that important step of building on our mutual respect by exploring our differences before we trusted each other to hold each other’s fragile hearts.

Not all relationships were meant to be. Many of our friends come to us because of the things we have in common, and we meet them while engaging in activities we both share an interest in. Whether at work or at play, things held in common will always be a source to meet new friends. Most of these friendships will be limited to whatever activity it is that created that bond we share.

That special bond is the trust that we will always grant each other the simple respect of each other’s right to be there and share their time with us. It is how all basic relationships begin.

When we love in this way it is never an accident. 

Friday, February 8, 2013

When your passion turns to anger, what should you do about it?

 

For all of us, the mention of certain subjects, objects, or people can cause the visceral rise of anger up into our throats. If we fail to get these feelings under control, we often suffer from the consequences of our own words and actions.

If this happens to you more often than you would like, you need to do a few things in advance to give you better control in these stress filled situations. This advance preparation can have a wonderful effect on your ability to prevent your anger from damaging the causes that stirs your passions.

Each temple pulsing, fist clenching moment comes to us via a trigger. This trigger is the key to what our response is now-anger, and what we wish it was-persuasive. Yes, I said persuasive. Everyone with a cause wishes everyone around them would join their cause. When it happens, we become happier. It is hard to argue with this kind of logic.

Here is where advanced planning can really pay off. Done right you will be thought of as a person of great personal passions instead of a raving fanatic. Think back to the last blazing hot confrontation you had. Which one of you walked away looking like a nutcase with a bad attitude?

Ready to become a someone who lives life with truly great personal passions? That may sound a little over the top, but, it is our passions that bind us together. Never underestimate the role that passions have played in most revolutionary change. And, by all means never forget the powerful emotions that drive that change. Here comes the caveat. If you want change without physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bloodshed, anger is the wrong emotion to use.

Getting back on track we must take a closer look at one of those moments when anger took control and look a little deeper to see if we can find the underlying passion. Politic, global climate change, social justice issues, personal religious beliefs, racial tensions, cultural norms, and so on are some of the noble causes that draw out strong opinions on both sides of every argument. It is not unusual for us to develop a serious dislike for those who are the most vocal opponents to our own point of view. Can you feel the anger rising in your throat as they come to mind?

This little recall exercise should have brought to mind at least one of your passions, as well as your feelings toward those who oppose your efforts to promote change. Good. This is where advanced planning can put you on top in a heated discussion, or at least let you walk away with your head up rather than with tail between legs.

Your righteous anger will need to be replaced with some form of persuasion for you to gain the upper hand or hold your own in a debate. To do this you must develop some irrefutable reasons to support your cause. I say irrefutable because fiction and fairy tales win very few arguments. Remind them that it is foolish to throw caution to the wind, especially when we are dealing with a few unknowns. 

You should be armed with at least three good reasons why they should respect your passion. It won't take long after you do this to discover the truth that the best defense must include a good offense. Simply put, don’t bother having an opinion if you are not prepared to defend it.

One of my own pet peeves is when people spout rhetoric one liners from famous people with no real knowledge of what the underlining passion is. It is one thing to share a passion, it’s quite another to blindly hop on a bandwagon. If you hope to persuade anyone that you are passionate about something, a little knowledge goes a long way.The goal is to empower you to take control of your passions and be happier as a result.

Passions are funny things. They can be big, and powerful, and overwhelming. And, they can also be tiny little jewels in your crown as king or queen of your personal kingdom. If you have a passion for something, I guarantee you there are others out there ready and willing to share it with you. One example would be recycling. There are happy recyclers and there are angry recyclers.

You can set out to save the world by demanding that everyone recycle under penalty of your personal scorn, or you can set the example by following your passion and then strike up spirited conversations about your exciting efforts to save the planet for future generations. Need I point out which method is most effective. The lesson learned here goes hand in hand with efforts at persuasion. Every passion has a positive face. Find yours and put it on.

To be a truly passionate person you must live and breathe your passions every day. From now on let whatever triggers your anger trigger a positive response instead. A little knowledge and preparation will make you a more passionate person. Don't let your anger destroy who you want to be. May your passion for life shine through your conversations so they can see you for who you are.

One last note: Mutual respect for each other’s right to have a different opinion will leave each discussion open for further consideration in the future.

J. Siler

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Thursday, January 24, 2013

There is no need to sacrifice freedom for safety

Democrats introduce expanded assault-weapons ban | Fox News


Once again we are asked to surrender our freedom in the pursuit of safety while ignoring the true problems that are the root cause of out of control population who possess guns illegally. We already have all the gun laws we need to prevent the sale of guns to minors, mentally challenged citizens, and criminals. Instead of creating even more useless laws for gun control it is time to plug the holes in our existing laws and start enforcing them.

No one has mentioned that gun owners should be required to keep their unattended guns secure with trigger locks and gun safes. This should be mandatory. I suspect enforcement of this one logical solution would remove many of the illegal weapons that find their way out of homes and onto the streets. Failure to secure your weapons should be considered a serious offense with heavy fines and jail time for second offenders.

Discussions on mental health issues and databases are brought up time and time again and then dropped like a political hot potato.

Any additional bright ideas you may have will be appreciated.


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Monday, November 9, 2009

This Old Man-Intro


Even as I sit down and write the first words of this book about the power of personal opinions to shape the world I"m struck by the irony of its title, "This Old Man". Is that me? Is it true? My personal opinion of myself tells me yes. I am an old man. Almost immediately I can hear the protests start as people older than myself who chime in with their opinions that I am just a young buck and have a long way to go before I can call myself old. 

Then, too, from the other side, I hear the protests from my children and friends, and with it comes their opinions of where I am in my life. Chiming in with cliques about being only as young as you feel, and being young at heart, they put the mental images of a walker and cane I have surrounded myself with back in the closet, and drag me out to greet the day on more time. I try to learn something new every day, and when I am done, I return to my favorite chair. Sinking into the soft cushion, I feel the aches and pains caused by my physical activities reminding me that I am not a young man any longer. Physically, I am an old man, and I wonder where the times of my youth have gone.

As the pain in my back and joints begins to subside, with a little help from my beloved heating pad, my next personal opinion of myself comes to mind. I am a happy old man. This is much preferred over the many grumpy old men I have met in my lifetime. As I run with this thought I become more aware of the many grumpy old women I have met also. Women live longer than men so I guess if you start down that grumpy path, it is no wonder they get so grumpy. They have more years in which to perfect it. Can you imagine having ten or twenty extra years to live as a grumpy old woman? 

I am a happy old man and getting happier each day. So what is it that makes all the difference between happy and grumpy? The answer comes to me in a flash of brilliance. It is wisdom. I have become a wise old man. Now remember, this is just my own personal opinion of myself. You can feel free to disagree with me and form your own opinion of me yourself. To do that you will have to get to know me better. Then we will have to talk about it. I am telling you the truth. I have become a wise old man.

Even as I stop to ponder this revelation, that it is wisdom that has led me to this happy place that makes getting older more tolerable, I have to wonder if wisdom is really reserved for the old and wise. What would have happened had I gained it earlier on in my life? There are very few of us old fogies who haven't mused that if we knew what we know now, back when we were young, we could have got to this happy place much quicker. 

The idea of being young and wise goes against tradition and the conventional wisdom of our times. That in itself makes it worth pursuing. I spent a lot of my youth running around like a rebel without a cause. Here is one cause I can accomplish, without getting up out of my favorite chair. Just the thought of being able to tell those grumpy old men and women they got it wrong puts a smile on my face. 

With that thought in mind I have set out to find a way for the young people of today to add wisdom to their lives so they can be happy long before they are too old to take advantage of its power to change the many opinions that now run amok, wreaking havoc on our ability to relate to one another, and causing so much unhappiness. 

Boy! That was a mouthful. In short, how would you like to learn to add wisdom to your own personal opinions without having to put up with old wise men like me telling you what you should think, and what it would be wise for you to do next? Aren't you tired of hearing, "I told you so", every time you turn around?